Continuing with our Counseling series this week
As a pastor with a young congregation, the topic of relationship, courtship, love and sex needs to be understood biblically. I have started this year to use the following seven questions for pre-courtship Counseling. I think it’s helpful to begin precourtship counseling even when someone is seriously considering a girl to be in a relationship with since emotion can run high and you want to address concerns early on since relationships often leads young people to unnecessary heartbreaks, spiritual compromises and sexual immorality. I find that it’s not enough to just preach on this regularly but it’s also vital to assess one on one where an individual is at which drove me to make this counseling sheet.
Below is the worksheet I use. I have them spend some time answering it. As an instruction for the counselor, what I’m looking for with these questions is to identify any answers and thinking that is unbiblical and then correct them. What Biblical answers they do have I want to encourage them to uphold and also discuss what an accountablility plan looks like.
PRE-COURTSHIP COUNSELING: SEVEN RELATIONSHIP QUESTIONS
Purpose: To be conscious of timeless biblical principles concerning character and beliefs for relationships (Questions # 1, 2 and 3) and also whether it’s the case between couples in relationship (Questions # 5 and 6). Questions are also design to encourage Christian growth in relationship, in terms of identifying what one needs to work on in the area of sanctification (Question #7) and protection for purity (Question #4). Questions #1-4 are also good questions for singles not in a relationship to answer ahead of time as well.
1) What is the quality and characteristic of a godly husband?
2) What is the quality and characteristic of a godly wife?
3) What doctrinally (theologically) should I look for in a potential spouse?
4) What should be my physical boundaries during a relationship for the sake of purity?
5) Does he have these characters and quality? On this basis, is he ready for a relationship?
6) Does she have these characters and quality? On this basis, is she ready for a relationship?
7) What do I have to work on in terms of my character?