
This is a poem that I wrote in response to a medical student I met a few years ago who was dealing with severe depression. On many occasions, he contemplated suicide. I pray that this poem will help you see clearly what happens in the world of a suicidal person. Only the power of the Gospel is able to usher in light to these hurting people.
I am not sure what has happened to this young man since we last corresponded a few years ago, but I pray that the Lord Jesus will rescue him from his dismal situation.
August 14
Your on a leave of absence due to depression/
PLACING YOU IN A STATE OF REPRESSION/
This depression is like a negative chain reaction/
No satisfaction, just dissatisfaction/
SIN WANTS YOU IN A STATE OF POSSESSION/
Because your soul has a dark contraction/
Going through this self-hating, suicidal depression/
Satan wants you as a puppet on a string, as a penpal, under his oppression/
It’s been around a year and a half/
You don’t remember what its like to be happy/
Your world is dark and scrappy/
This symptom of depression makes you feel like a bird/
Trapped in a room/
Thinking, getting ready to explode like a time-bomb/
You say that you prayed alone on a parking lot that night/
You say you saw light at the end of the tunnel/
Amen, your last farewell could of ended in hell/
After hearing a message on Psalm 1/
About the happy man/
Who is not a hangman/
You feel like you could live again/
September 14
When your stomach hurted/
You did not eat/
Sin wanting you in its evil habitat/
You didn’t sleep because your head hurts from not sleeping/
Depression making you have suicidal thoughts/
Becoming prey to depression’s bloodshot, worse than a gunshot/
With very unrealistic plans/
It gets more sickening/
Sin tryin’ to destroy you with everything/
You have suicidal, unrealistic, death fantasies that are gruesome and disturbing/
Like watching yourself being hung and crucified at the same time/
Your soul is close to drowning in its riptide in this war time/
You enjoyed it/
You allowed it for a time/
Locked in its cockpit/
Didn’t fight those thoughts for a time/
Despite knowing how sin is detrimental/
Worse than a root canal/
Seems like things are hard for you/
September 24
Your last long e-mail correspondence/
Worth more than dollar and cents/
You were rushed into the ER/
Because of plus chills, nausea, and vertigo/
You had to get up and go/
You lost alot of fluids/
From watery diarrhea and vomiting like 20 times/
With everything inside at that time/
Lost 10 pounds in three days/
You vomited all over your bathroom/
On the walls and on the floors/
You had to return back to the ER/
Because the symptoms continued to occur/
Even after the meds/
You were still going back to the bathroom multiple times per hour/
Continuing to be susceptible to its power/
You say things are well/
Just 2 months ago/
You were close to that fatal blow/
That close to suicide/
Truly you live each day by grace/
I pray that God will seal you in His saving grace/
I feel your pain, but be careful, spiritual depression will rob you/
Away from God’s joy/
Enemy and sin wants to employ and destroy/
Step away from your hedonistic thoughts/
And step into this thought/
The Christ who suffered for our spiritual blood cloths/
The Christ suffered from 9:00 A.M. to 3:00 P.M./
For six hours Christ became a curse/
For those who would repent and believe that live in the universe/
For six hours divine wrath was inflicted and received by the One alone able to do so/
He took blows from His Father in order to forgive His foes/
For six hours—silent, willful submission, by the Lamb of God, the Servant of Yahweh/
While sinners sin day by day, night and day, Christ gave us the right of way/
For six hours—Jesus bore the full burden of sins past, present, and future/
He bore out trespasses—100 percent for sure, for Christ spiritually poor/
For six hours—the Father smote the Son with full wrath He alone could render/
So salvation could occur from him and her/
This was the spiritual darkness that was covering the cross/
God turning away from His Son was severe/
The atonement was never at loss/
The wrath of God came from God the Father/
It was a direct act of God/
When He cracked and smacked His Son/
The Christ had to suffer/
He dranked the cup of the full wrath of God/
For the vice squad and sinful squad/
Read 2 Corinthians 5:21/
Christ died for sin/
So sinners won’t experience His wrath in the end/
Sinners who sin time and time again who belong in the trash bin/
The Father treated and regarded Christ as if He was a sinner/
When Satan saw this he taught that he was a winner/
All sins were charged against the Christ as if He had personally committed them/
Listen, don’t you understand an innocent man was condemned/
Christ was punished with the penalty for them on the cross/
So that those who were supposed to be condemned won’t suffer a loss/
As a result He experienced the full fury of God’s wrath/
Worse than those who suffer from a bloody warpath/
It was at that moment when Christ cried out, “My God, My God, why have you forsaken Me”/
So you could be set free as a guarantee because your Christ’s electee/
Christ never sin, but was perfect, but because He took on sin He was left in solitude/
Mocked by the crude multitude who had demonic sinful attitudes with no gratitude/
Listen, this was the darkest moment/
The Christ, in frequent torment/
In that last few hours of His suffering, it was spiritual solitude/
Worse than Him being nude or mocked by the rude/
This was the most painful part/
Left Him alone without child support/
The Father stepped away from Him/
Because of sins grim/
So I ask you—repent and believe in the Gospel so you could flee from the wrath to come/
A path that you won’t overcome/
Don’t be deaf and dumb or continue to be a sinful slum/
Listen to the prophetic outcome that is the rule of thumb/
I tell you/
Come to the Christ if you are depressed and weary/
Your hard-pressed and you think your eerie/
Come to Christ, be blessed, and don’t think this is a theory/
The Gospel is your treasure chest, your day of rest when your suppressed/
Unpublished work © 2013 EvangelZ
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