Archive for September 9th, 2013

Real Marriage Driscoll

This is a helpful book though I do have some concern.

The Good

I appreciated Mark Driscoll and his wife Grace writing this book together.  I appreciated their openness and their honesty, with Mark Driscoll’s description of a tired pastor going all out as something I can identify with.  I thought this work was unique among many Christian books on marriage in that devote a whole chapter towards the subject of spouses being friends, and what that look like biblically.  I appreciated Mark and Grace writing this book in such a way to apply it to our lives Biblical truths.  Mark makes a good point that when a man is married, his wife now becomes the standard of beauty, and the beauty changes along with his wife.  The book discusses all kinds of marriage problem and addresses them even the issue of dealing with past abuse and sexual sins.  I appreciated the book memorable alliterations: Repentance involves confession, contrition and change; Sex is not a God, nor is it Gross, but a Gift from God; Communication problems being driven by contempt, complaint and criticisms, etc.  The book also took a stand for heterosexual marriage as Biblically defined.

Constructive Criticisms

Mark Driscoll is controversial when it comes to the topic of sex.  I suppose some of the concerns people have for Driscoll’s teaching on sex is the same I have with Driscoll’s book.  For starters, I think he allegorizes a bit too much Song of Solomon in the Bible; and I’m not saying this as a Victorian Era Prude but because of my commitment to the Bible and being hermeneutically conscious.  I don’t see some of the sexual acts he describe to be found in some of the passages from Song of Solomon because I see Song of Solomon to be a beautiful book between lovers that capture that love in appropriate veil languages; moreover, if you study again carefully Song of Solomon you might be surprised to see how few the instances are when it describe physical contact.  The most disturbing part of the book for me is the supposed vision Mark received from God of his wife committing a sexual sin before they were married.  I know Driscoll has described visions of seeing other women engage in sexual sins of those he’s counseling, and I don’t know if it’s part of the nature of God biblically for him to give a pornographic sexually explicit vision.  While marriage is more than taking care of the kids, I also think that’s a real part of marriage; and if kids come about from sex, I think it would have been wonderful if Driscoll could have talked about raising children.


I have a hard time wondering if I can recommend this book: on the one hand there’s some really Godly counsel especially with marriage issues and problems but on the other hand, you don’t want it to be stumbling nor is Driscoll’s exposition of Song of Solomon biblical at the hermeneutical level.  Perhaps I must give it an appropriate rating of BG—Biblical Guidance needed, readers’ discretion is advised.

(The book is available on Amazon by clicking HERE)

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