Last week Tom, one of frequent commentator on our blog wrote a reply to my question of how was church that got me thinking about the church loving those who are older. Here’s portion of that comment:
Our church definitely aims at the younger (20-40) crowd, which creates some problems and tensions for us being 60 years old. The preaching is doctrinally sound and we enjoy/appreciate the sermons but the music portion is a Christian rock concert replete with lightshow, etc. The congregation’s singing cannot be heard above the din. That grates on us at times. There’s also lot’s of technology with many video messages on the big screen but I’ve noticed over the past year that not one “older” member has ever been featured, every speaker is under 40. In their goal to appeal to the young, older people are somewhat, no, make that pretty much ignored. As we get even older it’s going to feel less and less comfortable.
My heart was heavy reading this. I’m relatively young and am part of the Millennial generation. I am aware that my generation can be quite self-centered (generally speaking, I’m not saying everybody). And I want to share this to encourage those going to church who are younger than 40 to not forget those who are older.
Greet them. Talk to them. Say hi to them. Asked them their name. Ask them sincerely: “How are you?” Make it a point to talk to one or two older members before and after the service. I’m going to touch a sacred idol for some in Evangelicalism: From time to time have songs of worship that would minister to the older generation. Sometimes young people can make so much out of contemporary vs. traditional worship, etc. And pastors: Plan perhaps even monthly visitation to those who are older.
Don’t forget the church isn’t made up of only your peer group.
Don’t be trying to be so cool, you become a self-absorbed fool in God’s eye of not caring about whom God cares about. Don’t shut the old out. In a world that’s all about what’s new, be the one appreciate vintage.
I have written earlier this year a series of outline posts titled “ Bear with One Another With Generational Differences.” I hope it might be edifying.
Thanks for this post and reminder. I can relate to this also and appreciate the insight being addressed here! Also, I appreciate your counsel brother!
Thanks for reading this, I appreciate it. I pray this post would be used by the Lord to encourage those who are younger to remember the older.
Reblogged this on Talmidimblogging.
Thanks for the reblog of this post!
You’re very welcome Pastor Jim 😎
Same goes for those who are never-married singles (marriage is everything.) Same goes for those who don’t have children (parenthood is everything.) Same goes for the unmarried by widowhood, widowerhood, or divorce (marriage is still everything.) Same for those who are disabled (being abled is everything.) The church caters to young married parents and doesn’t seem to care about anyone else. I’ve been learning American Sign Language and it shows me just how few churches have a plan in place to communicate with it’s deaf visitors.
Though in the country settings, you’ll find that elders run the show, are the only ones who speak for God, who choose the music (traditional is their preference so that’s what they choose.) The smart ones will shoot down any new idea that a young person has, like installing screens in the first place. That way they understand how the church is run and can control what happens in it.
Amen! I have been so blessed to have known older people, to actually work serving older people, because that’s where all the wisdom lives. People who have been walking the planet 70 years have experiences and insights the rest of us do not. It’s sad that we’ve become so youth focused because as a culture and as a church we’re depriving ourselves of a wealth of wisdom and experience.
” It’s sad that we’ve become so youth focused because as a culture and as a church we’re depriving ourselves of a wealth of wisdom and experience.”<–I agree. It is a blessing that the young should tap into!
Amen brother Jim well said. We are commanded to be of one accord…young to old. Sometimes that means just giving in a little bit. I work with the young folks, so I sort of understand them, but am heading quickly towards old guy status LOL. Seriously, though….we need to be highly respectful of the fact that these folks posses much wisdom and experience. When we shove the aside we do a disservice to Kingdom work.
The other day we were dealing with something in business issue. It was about putting down some pavement on a new parking area. Some of the older folks were quite upset that all of the grass on that side would be gone. Some of the younger folks were sort of deriding them for being so attached to some stupid grass. Kind of made me mad, and I sort of let some of the younger ones have it later. I mean…a couple of these older members had been in our church for close to 75 years….that deserves a pile of respect. Actually, during the business meeting, even though I happened to think the grass was not needed, I actually made a new motion to redo the plan to leave the grass. Compromise. It’s how love works.
Good example given Wally of the need for the church to have mutual respect for one another and one generation to another. In my church I’m closer in age to the youth but I typically encourage our guys to defer to those who are older concerning things of preference. I think respect for those who are older should begin and be modeled by the leaders….like in your example, amen?
OH Amen for sure. It’s not that hard to defer on preferences. They may be grumpy old people, but they are my grumpy old people. Since I have joined my church, I have been a pall bearer at the funeral of two of the grumpy old guys….they won’t be with us forever, and we should treasure them.
Thanks, SLIM. There is wisdom in them there grey hairs, and we yungins would do well to learn all we can from them. I’m older than you, but still younger than many in my congregation. I love to sit and talk to them.
Amen, good example. How are you doing by the way Dr. Steve, haven’t heard from you in a while and it is so good to see you comment!
Doing well SLIMJIM. Been extremely busy and working on some things. I’ve been posting some of my research in order to try to work out what I am going to be teaching for a seminary course next fall. Thanks for asking. By the way, what’s your day job?
Glad to hear you are doing well. I’m an associate pastor in a small church. What are you going to be teaching next fall?
1. Does your church have a website? 2. I’m trying to develop a class on the New Spirituality/New Age and how it’s philosophy has infiltrated the Evangelical church. The working title at this point is The Road to Delusion based on 2 Thessalonians 2 where Paul speaks of God sending a deluding influence so that the world will believe the lie.
Our website is currently down according to our webmaster. Been that way for almost two years. That sounds like a neat series! Do you still blog, it seems your link goes to your church website?
I’ve been blogging it for the last month or so. My new address is stevespurlin.com. My old site should have a link that will send you there. If it is not working please let me know.
Thanks a lot, Jim, for posting on this. One would think church leaders would try to make everyone feel welcome as much as possible rather than concentrating on only one age group. But its my impression that the focus on “growth” in many of today’s hip/progressive churches means that seniors are expendable and maybe even undesirable.
You said: ” But its my impression that the focus on “growth” in many of today’s hip/progressive churches means that seniors are expendable and maybe even undesirable”
That is so unfortunate that this is the case among some quarters. How is church today by the way Tom? It seems your comment last week led to this post and really sparked quite some conversations on here!
Some of our disappointments with our church came to a head last week. I subsequently checked the websites and recent sermons of two other churches that were on our previous “church search” shortlist and one was too fundamentalist for us while the other was very similar to our current church. So for now we’re going to stay put because we do like the preaching a lot. Unfortunately, we didn’t go to church yesterday because my wife was sick. Thanks for your prayers and for the post, Jim.
Keep us posted Tom!
Thanks, Jim!
I know of a beautiful downtown church that tries to be relevant with drums and guitars and a screen which hides the beautiful artwork in the front of the church. So sad! Rather than abandoning meaningful traditions for the sake of the young, God’s people should be teaching the young the meaning of those traditions, not merely for the comfort of the older members, but for the spiritual growth of the younger members. J.
Amen. I also think sometimes its not young people per se who would reject these traditions but the leaders perception that young people will reject it.
You are right about that. Many young people today are hungry for an experience that has roots in something meaningful. They aren’t asking to be entertained, because they can find entertainment everywhere. They are asking to be fed with spiritual meat and with the Bread of Life. J.
Unfortunately, it’s the circle of life…the young ones will soon feel the pain of being shoved to the back once a new generation of youngsters come up. My only suggestion would be for the Church to be careful about how they go about with this process. Several years ago, I had some serious bitterness issues to work through when I became the recipient of the process. It was not so much being relieved of my duties but how I was relieved of them.
“My only suggestion would be for the Church to be careful about how they go about with this process.”<–I agree, I so agree 100%. I hope you are ok after what sounded like a burn from the church?
Oh yeah…I’m more than fine. Church is not about me but about praising my Heavenly Father. People are going to be people no matter if in the world or in church. It does, however, make me better understand the Bible verse about being wounded in the house of my friends.
We started going to a church with an “older” crowd and we like it a lot. We are in our 40’s with two young children, so we are often at the middle place. This church has a lot of grandparents with grandchildren and they have some of the most sincere hearts for God. I think we can miss out on the benefit of fellowship with older, wiser individuals by trying to cater to fads in our churches. Sometimes, less really is more.
That is neat to hear about the multi-generations dynamic in your church! Was that intentional on your part?
Yes, I got tired of rock concerts and fad teachings. I wanted something more solid and for my young children to be exposed to elders.
I know an older man who decided to visit a different (seeker friendly/preacher in cargo shorts) chapel on a nearby military installation when the traditional service where he attended headed off in the wrong spiritual direction (spiritual formation/special God ‘encounters’). There was actually better Biblical preaching from the Chaplain in cargo shorts, but no one paid any attention tomthe old guy. I have also seem older members of parachurch ministries like The Navs being pushed aside and younger men put on staff.
Love this! It’s easy for any demographic, whether age, gender, race, etc to feel like the odds are stacked against them and that no one is paying special attention to their needs. It’s important for people to look around and make sure other groups are not falling through the cracks either!
A big hearty Amen