Review: Loving Your Friend through Cancer

Marissa Henley. Loving Your Friend through Cancer.  Phillipsburg, NJ: Presbyterian and Reformed Publishing, May 31st 2018. 264 pp.

5 out of 5

Purchase: Westminster | Amazon

This is tremendously helpful book on a very difficult topic of what to do when one’s friend is going through cancer.  The book is written by Marissa Henley who herself is a cancer survivor.  It took me a long time to finish the book but I am glad I read through this book slowly. It was extremely helpful and I took pages after pages of notes along the way.  In God’s providence I read this book as a pastor who at first was curious about ministering to those who have cancer as a hypothetical scenario and therefore it wasn’t a priority but then it turned out I really did needed this book in ministering to someone who really had cancer a few months after I first began this book.  I am glad this book was written as I found it immensely helpful for pastors though it was written for lay Christians in the church.  I recommend this book and rate it five out of five.

The book consisted of thirteen chapters.  All the chapters were tremendously helpful.  The first ten chapters is focused on ministering to a friend who has cancer.  Chapter eleven shifts the focus on ministering to friends or church members in which their spouse, parent or child have cancer.  Chapter twelve discusses “when there’s no cure” while chapter thirteen discusses the topic of supporting a friend who survived cancer.

I cannot stress enough how helpful this book has been.  It exceeded my expectations.  It made me think a lot about things I haven’t considered before.  I found in the beginning of the book the discussion of circles of friendship one is at in relations to the person with the cancer tremendously helpful; it allows one to consider just how much one can help and also what the assistance would look like according to where you fall in the circle of friendship; yet one shouldn’t despair if one want to help more as time would often bring those who are consistently helpful in the outer circle into the more inner circle.  It is a realistic framework that I haven’t even thought about before.  Yet this isn’t just theoretical as the author gave a lot of practical suggestions of what assistance to someone with cancer look like according to one’s place in the circle of friendship.  The chapter on unhelpful religious platitudes was also a great read in the book and shouldn’t be missed.  Also the book’s discussion about the struggle of those surviving cancer was also an exceptional chapter in a book that has amazing chapters.  I never realize how hard it is for those who survive cancer from the fear of cancer coming back to the reality that things aren’t the same like it was before the cancer and also the skeptical cynicism that cancer truly has disappeared.  The likelihood of the return of cancer is also very probable which affect one’s outlook and planning in life.

I can’t stress enough just how life changing this book for me as a young pastor.  It wasn’t just helpful in terms of ministering to those with cancer but it was also helpful for me to be better equipped and more considerate in how I minister to those with other serious illness.  As I said in the beginning God really used this book providentially in my ministry.  I believe many others who read this book have been tremendously enriched, equipped and ministered by it.  Maybe the next person who can benefit from this book is you.

NOTE: This book was provided to me free by P&R Publishing and Net Galley without any obligation for a positive review. All opinions offered above are mine unless otherwise stated or implied.