(Check out part 1 here: Responsibilities of Those Married to a nonbeliever)
Establishing the need: It is not easy to be married to someone who does not know Christ; What does God’s Word has to say to encourage those who are married to unbelievers?
Purpose: In this session we will see more responsibilities to your unbelieving spouse and also encouragement when your marriage is hard so that you continue to live these out to please God in your marriage.
- Further responsibilities
- God’s truth to encourage you when marriage is hard
(Note for the two session we will be looking at a lot of verses in 1 Corinthians 7 and 1 Peter 3 since they are speak on the topic of being married to unbelievers)
Further responsibilities
Point: There are two more responsibilities we need to go over for both husband and wife.
Proof
- Husbands and wives be kind: “To sum up, all of you be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit” (1 Peter 3:8)
- When the verse says “To sum up” it is concluding the section about being marriage to unbelieving spouse.
- Here we are called to be kind!
- Husbands and wives do good even if your spouse do wrong: “not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead;” (1 Peter 3:9a)
- It can be tempting to have a vengeful heart. But this ought not be.
- Instead a Christian spouse should be “giving a blessing instead”
Practice
- Every morning you wake up go to God in prayer to pray to God that you be revolve to be kind to your spouse.
- Also every night inventory if you have shown any kindness to your spouse.
- Also realize daily that your spouse will sin against you! We are sinners, they will sin against you. Knowing this helps us to be prepared to be wrong so we don’t automatically think vengeance.
- Bless your spouse. Do the exact opposite of what you think they deserve.
God’s truth to encourage you when marriage is hard
Proof
- Encouragement 1: Be encouraged by the example of godly marriage: “For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands; 6 just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear.” (1 Peter 3:5-6)
- Remember the context of this passage is about wives married to an unbelieving husband.
- Here the motivation is the example of “holy women” (5)
- The example include those women “in former times” (5)
- Sarah, Abraham’s wife is mentioned as an example.
- Application
- Study women in the Scriptures.
- Read books on women in the Bible.
- Also look for godly women to disciple you or fellowship with them to learn from their example!
- Also realize you are not the only women who have a difficult marriage; let that encourage you that others have walked your journey.
- Encouragement 2: Know that what you are going through is God’s Will: “for you were called for the very purpose” (1 Peter 3: 9b)
- Sometimes the best place to be is exactly where God’s will is for you to be at the moment.
- Realize that you being in your marriage is something that God has a purpose for you and for your family.
- Encouragement 3: Consider God’s way of accomplishing His purpose using people in lowly place
- Think of Jesus and Jesus’ disciples. Through them the Church will grow.
- The persecuted church submitted to the government and yet the Roman Empire would turn to Christianity (not perfectly).
- Slaves are also called to submit and endure suffering: Colossians 3:22-4:1, Ephesians 6:5-8, 1 Peter 2:18-25. Slaves doing God’s will shall be rewarded which means they were doing God’s will.
- Even sometimes God use sons and daughters to bring fathers and mothers to God.
- Encouragement 4: Know that you will be rewarded:
- “that you might inherit a blessing.” (1 Peter 3: 9b)
- “But even if you should suffer for the sake of righteousness, you are blessed” (1 Peter 3:14a)
- “But if when you do what is right and suffer for it you patiently endure it, this finds favor with God.” (1 Peter 2:20b)
- “If you are reviled or the name of Christ, you are blessed, because the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you.” (1 Peter 4:14)
- Encouragement 5: Go to Christ:
- We follow Christ: “For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps” (1 Peter 2:21)
- Does your unbelieving spouse misunderstand you? Jesus’ was understood by family in Mark 2:21, 2:31 and by friends in John 11:21.
- Does your unbelieving spouse slander you? Jesus’ was slandered in John 8:41, Luke 7:34.
- Does your unbelieving spouse hate you? Jesus’ was hated in his home town who wanted to push Him off the cliff in Luke 4:29.
- Does your unbelieving spouse even hate you? Jesus’ was hated in his home town who wanted to push Him off the cliff in Luke 4:29.
- Has your unbelieving spouse even rejected you? Jesus’ was rejected by people He created in John 1:11 and by His own brothers in John 7:5.
- Sharing in Christ’s suffering, we can rejoice: “but to the degree that you share the sufferings of Christ, keep on rejoicing, so that also at the revelation of His glory you may rejoice with exultation.” (1 Peter 4:13)
This is great instruction and encouragement from the Word for believers married to an unbeliever. Even a believer married to a Christian can cull some good counsel from this.
RE: Also realize daily that your spouse will sin against you! We are sinners, they will sin against you. Knowing this helps us to be prepared to be wrong so we don’t automatically think vengeance.
This is great advice and will help to break the attack-vengeance cycle. In one of your sermons on marriage and criticism you advised to anticipate criticism and to plan ahead how to react. That was great counsel and has helped me quite bit.
That series on criticism remain one that God has probably use the most this year at my church and also for me personally. Had to review and renew living them out with ministry the last few weeks and months. Thanks for your input and comments, I’m going to go to sleep as I got a long day ahead of me!
Have a good sleep and a blessed Thursday!
We all need that
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Thanks for you heart for encouragement. Blessings.
Encouraging Word and guidance…there’s something there for every believer.
And then there are those who ‘think’ they are Christians and in reality aren’t.But…I think that is Gods business and out of our control.
Marriage can be difficult even between believers. The two become one, but it takes a lifetime to determine which one. Good post.
Amen. O how we need the grace of God. I imagine you are married brother, what advice would you give to other believers you gain from the Scriptures in your own marriage?
Hi Jim, I am married, only once. Happily with two boys and 6 grandchildren. The best advise I have aside from praying and studying scripture together is be slow to speak when things rub you the wrong way, and never raise your voice.
Good lesson.
Thanks for dropping by and reading this. I taught this overseas a few months ago where many were coming to Christ after they got married and therefore married to unbelievers. Pray for these believers to grow in grace if you can, my heart is heavy for them. Anything I can pray for you for Maw Maw?
In prayer. Please pray for my Grandaughter Danielle, she has been diagnosed with Fibre Myalgia at 21yrs. Thank you Sweet Heart Grandson.
A true atheist is a true believer also…
Thank you Jim. I especially latched on to the discussion about further responsibilities. I appreciate the encouragement. I am blessed to be married to a Christian. Amen!
Great post Pastor Jim !! I am married to an unbeliever, but I wasn’t saved by God’s grace till I was almost 52 !!
It is very hard to respond with love, when your spouse (who doesn’t have the Holy Spirit) makes hurtful comments, or comments which go against the Word of God…
I have a raw tongue, for not responding to my wife in a way that would not be pleasing to God…
It is impossible to respond with love, when you are being persecuted…without the FULL power of the Holy Spirit giving you the ability… We must walk in and by the power of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:16), as re do our best to be filled with the Holy Spirit…Ephesians 5:18-20…
Blessings in Christ, bruce
Thank you for your encouragement. Marriage is tough and yet still beautiful because of God. Without God me and my husband will not be able to make it on our year 2 of marriage.
Wow thank you I’m encouraged to hear this and needed this
[…] Encouragement for Those Married to a nonbeliever […]
Through the grace of God, it is possible to live in harmony and love with an unbeliever. In general, love begets love, even among the pagans. (Matthew 5:46) It is possible to raise children “in the nurture and admonition of the Lord” even without your spouse’s participation, because it is Christ who is working through you, anyway. Then there is the vicarious joy when they marry godly, believing spouses and your grandchildren are raised to Love the God you love. Loving, giving, FORgiving, ASKING forgiveness – RESPECT, they all have a constant influence when practiced daily, and it’s amazing how beautiful a relationship can be, even when only one partner truly knows Who is responsible for the blessings.
All by the grace of God; how are you doing sister?
Doing well. God is good. And you?
Very good blog post! Biblical tips! Sometimes its very hard. I love him a lot but its hard to see him not love the Lord