For Americans today is Memorial Day. Its a national holiday where America have the day off to remember those who served in the military that have died in the line of duty. Some of you guys know that I was at one time an American Marine.
I’ve had this blog for nearly 14 years. I started blogging on here when I was still in the Marines. I imagine I’ve written a few Memorial Day posts on here over the years and I suppose if I look back on my blogging in general I can see how God has grown me. I bring this up to say that as I get older and think about Memorial Day there’s a sense the way I think about Memorial Day changes.
I’ve been out of the military for quite some time now; enough that I don’t have dreams about it. Enough to be soft both physically and mentally. I can’t fit in any of my old uniforms anymore but then back then I was too skinny when I was in the Marines (I think I look better now). When I still was in the Marines I use to look at military newspaper that came out around Memorial Day to see the faces of all those who were killed between the last memorial day and the current one. I read what I can and noted in my mind the age, the face, the unit and date of death. I did that for years before it got too much. Along the way I’ve seen familiar faces. When there’s a face you recognize that slow everything down.
When I got out obviously the pressure of deployment and even possibility of deployment went away. But then Memorial Day took on a different form. With each passing year with another year of life I think of those who didn’t get the privilege of living another year away from uniform.
I think of my marriage. I think of having kids. I think of ministry. I think of the joys of walking. The breeze of a night walk in May. The delight of reading. Different food and travels. And on top of that: the satisfaction of serving God and learning more about Him.
And I think of how tragic it is that some of those young men and women didn’t get to enjoy those things because they died while serving in the military.
Of course as I get older I think more of the family members left behind, more than I did when I was young.
It seems your first death in the military you remember the most. In my case it was 17 years ago. It happened to a guy who was blown up by enemy ordinances a few days after Memorial day. Today was the first time I wonder how that must have felt for the mom…to have received notification about her son’s death after a holiday that remembered those who died in uniform. It seem kind of cruel in ways that never occurred to me before.
Many guys in my unit have tried to connect online with the mom of the dead servicemember. She never responds to any of them. Now that I’m older I don’t blame her. Actually I feel in some sense it might be for the better. Still I can’t just turn away from the mom’s social media even if I can’t do anything. I look at her pics and I pray for her.
I noticed how the mom’s last name has changed. Remarriage after her son’s death. I noticed how she’s aged. I notice how many posts are about other people who have lost loved ones that served our country. Yet only a fraction of her posts would mention her son. A picture here. A vague reference there. And lots of posts with Bible verses and things about God. I think besides the differences of ethnicities and homestate, there’s nothing too incredibly different from her from other moms…including my own.
How tragic it is and how hard it must be to be a mom with a son who was killed 17 years ago in Iraq. 17 years. That’s about the age of when her son was in the military. These past 17 years seem so long yet also seem to past by so quick. I shrudder to think if I only have 17 years with my children.
As I get older Memorial Day has become more a time of prayer for the family of servicemembers who died in the line of duty….and a day I want to hold my girls tighter and teach them about what this day is about, and the men I’ve known who is no longer with us.
Thanks for the moving post. And … thanks for your service.
Greatly appreciated.
Reblogged this on The Culture Alternative and commented:
Here is a very moving tribute to Memorial Day.
Not all Millennials fit the sterotype of selfish and self-absorbed
I take my temporal freedoms for granted on a daily basis, but I occasionally do think about the servicemen and women who sacrificed and many who even sacrificed their lives so that we could enjoy our freedoms in this country. I googled it this morning and found out that approx. 1.1 million American soldiers have died in service since the beginning of the Revolutionary War in 1775. Each one of those soldiers had a grieving family, as you point out. This is a fallen world and wars are inevitable. I’m grateful for all those who protected and protect our freedoms.
Wow 1.1 million. Sometimes seeing history’s carnage it’s incredible the amount isn’t higher though that’s already a high number and like you said each have a grieving family. What’s your plan for today?
RE: today
We have LA weather today! 85F and sunny! 😎 This morning I took out the storm windows and put in the screens. Yup, four of our windows are 1950s Eisenhower era. For dinner tonight I’m going to BBQ some chicken with my special sauce. Also made a batch of my clam dip. Our first cookout this year! What are you and your family up to?
You and your family are in my prayers today
Thank you, Jim.
A beautiful first hand reminder Jim— thank you!!
Thanks any plans for this Memorial Day?
Grilling ribs— what about you and your family?— oh and was that the picture of the young man who died in combat?
Good stuff. Well done, Slim.
Amen. My three children are vets. I understand how I would feel also if I had lost one.
Wow that must have been hard! I imagine there were many times you were worried? What services were they in?
Air Force. Praise that God kept them home.:)
Well said, Jim.
Reblogged this on a simple man of God and commented:
I have known some mothers like that mentioned here in my time. Having not served myself, but knowing many who have, I have seen the other side discussed here. I have sat with soldiers/vets who have lost friends, and with mothers, brothers, and sisters, who have lost family. It is nice to see a veteran who thinks of those back home. (Even if it takes a little while. 😉 ) Too many people do not think about any of this at all, even on Memorial Day.
Daniel
I’m joining you in the prayer for the family of service members who were lost in the line of duty, my friend.
😭🙏🏻❤️
That was a moving post. Memorial Day is always a time that we should reflect a
Back in our lives and cherish and appreciate the people we have in our lives now. I hope you are doing well now.
I am doing well; are you working grave yard tonight?
Yep. I’m Ready to go to sleep though. Just a few more hours lol
A very emotional post pastor Jim.
Thanks for reading this. I don’t know if Australia have something like our Memorial Day for dead military service members? I imagine many a good Aussie veterans have the same thoughts like this.
We have Anzac Day. We celebrated with New Zealand. The ANZACS (Australia and New Zealand Army Corps )
Very moving post. Articulately put into words
I appreciate you reading this Efua. In the U.K. is there something like the American Memorial Day that recall soldiers who were killed in service? I imagine the U.K. involved with Iraq and Afghanistan has produced veterans my age with the same thoughts…
Yes we observe the day as a holiday too😊
Thanks for sharing this, Jim.
You’re welcome. I imagine as a veteran you can relate.
😉
This post brings the reasons behind Memorial Day front and center. Growing up during the Vietnam War, the whole experience taught me about the reverence we should have for every military family who experiences the loss of loved ones. This attitude has carried forward into my later years. We should never forget these families and their loved ones who made the ultimate sacrifice in duty to our nation.
Wonderful writing! Very touching, God bless our troops and veterans
[…] year Memorial Day was on May 25th, 2020. I wrote a post for that day: Memorial Day in my 30s as usual in the dead of the night/morning in the hours of 2 AM-3 […]