Helping our Child’s Anxiety

Purpose: This session we will explore three points to think biblically how to help our child with his or her anxiety.

1. Do you know what your child’s fears are?
2. Beware of problematic solutions to your child’s fears
3. Training a child to deal with fears biblically

Do you know what your child’s fears are?

Proof

A verse for counseling: “A plan in the heart of a person is like deep water, But a person of understanding draws it out.” (Proverbs 20:5)

1. We want to draw out of a person’s heart what they are thinking.
2. This would be understanding someone.
3. Likewise also with kids.

I did not think my kids would have fears. So I wanted to find out in preparing for this lesson; I asked them two question:

1. “What was something they were afraid of before when they were little?”
2. “What are something you are afraid of now?”

I asked the girls for permission to share this:

1. “What was something they were afraid of before when they were little?”
   1. People in the closet, backyard and underneath bed in the dark
   2. Doing homeschool lessons
   3. Roof falling down on us
   4. Getting in an accident
2. “What are something you are afraid of now?”
   1. Break ins
   2. Ants crawling on me while asleep
   3. Mosquito bites
   4. Not able to sleep at night
   5. Not being near momma at night
   6. Nose bleeds
   7. House burning

I learned from this that the kids fear can have more things the older they get; yes some irrational fears might be gone but fears of other things don’t go all away.

Practice

1. We should know what our child’s worries and fears are.
2. If we think they do not have fears it might be more likely you don’t know their fears rather than the fact that they have no fears and worries.
3. An exercise:

Write down what you think are your child’s worries.

Ask them what are their worries and fears when they were little.

Then ask them their current fears and worries.

See if what you wrote down first correspond to their worries.

Beware of problematic solutions to your child’s fears

Proof

Direct lies:

1. Lying of course is a sin: “Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, But those who deal faithfully are His delight.” (Proverbs 12:22)
2. Example: Everything will be ok!
3. Example: God will not let you suffer!

Denying there’s a concern: This is when you just say the problem doesn’t exist; but some concerns might be real and can happen.

Downplaying the issue:

1. Some problems one might now be denied directly but it is downplayed as not important.
2. This is when a parent might say to the child: “It’s no big deal!”

Distractions

1. This is what happen when we distract the child from facing the problem.
2. For example: A child afraid of the dark and you give them a device to see cartoons until they fall asleep. Soon the child always
3. A comfort or pleasurable distraction make one have incentive to avoid facing and overcoming fear since comfort is associated with not facing fear
4. Things that was emergency solution that become routine that is not normal nor healthy.

Practice

1. Do you see the problems with these methods?
2. Are you solving problems of your child’s fears in any of these above ways? Is there anything you need to repent and change?

 

Training a child to deal with fears biblically

Proof

1. Right response: Training a child to deal with fears biblically
2. Let them know they are not alone: they can talk to you.
3. Let the child know they matter to God: Matthew 10:31
4. Teach kids to find their comfort in God: Isaiah 41:10; Psalm 56:3; Psalm 94:19
5. Be comforted Jesus is praying for those who are His people: Hebrews 4:15-16
6. In Christ trials are temporary: 2 Corinthians 4:16-18
7. There’s a reason for suffering: Genesis 50:20 and Romans 8:28= Also tell testimonies to your kids
8. Let kids know you have fears too
9. Model trusting in God With your fears