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Rude-Wedding-Inspiration

Introduction:  What are the role of Fathers in courtship? So I officiated my first wedding yesterday!  This last week I watched so many weddings on Youtube.  As I was on Youtube I somehow started analyzing closer a popular music video titled “Rude” by Magic.

You can see the video below:

Background of the Song:

The song was released in October 12th, 2013 in Canada and became an international phenomenon even a year later.   There are now over 120 million viewers since December 2013 (I last checked on September 13th).

The story of the song is sung by the leader of the band Nasri about how he asked his girlfriend’s father for her hand in marriage but the father disapproves but he is going to marry her anyway.

The song’s most catchy and famous lyrics are the following lines:

Why you gotta be so rude?
Don’t you know I’m human too?
Why you gotta be so rude?
I’m gonna marry her anyway

Apparently it provoked a very strong response and debate about the role of fathers, daughters and a daughter’s boyfriend.

There is a response called “The Dad’s Side of the Story” by Benji and Jenna Cowart who are Christians.

The lyrics are funny:

you say you want my daughter for the rest of your life
well you gotta make more than burgers and fries
get out your mommas basement boy and get you a life
son your twenty eight
don’t you think it’s time

why you gotta call me rude
for doing what a dad should do
and keep her from a fool like you
and if if you marry her anyway

And what I think was the funniest lyric in the song:

I may be a christian
but I’ll go to prison
I’m not afraid of doin hard time

This prompted other versions and this was what I found:

– Daughter side of the story

– Mother side of the story

-Christian Mom side of the story

– Big Brother side of the story

– Sister side of the story

In all this, we must ask: what is God’s side of the story? We should consider God’s side of the story in light of Proverbs 1:7= “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; Fools despise wisdom and instruction.”

Note we must fear God and obey His ways; but not the opposite is that when we don’t consider God’s wisdom and instruction we are called fools.

If I may have a little fun, an alternative title to today’s post it would be “Why you got to be a fool? Turn with me to Exodus 22…”

  1. Fathers also have the role of protecting their daughter’s purity in regards to relationship and sexual manners: “If a man seduces a virgin who is not engaged, and lies with her, he must pay a dowry for herto be his wife. 17 If her father absolutely refuses to give her to him, he shall [a]pay money equal to the dowry for virgins.” (Exodus 22:16-17)
    1. Note there is a penalty for the seduction.
    2. “The man who seduces the virgin must answer to her father.”[1]
    3. The father has the right to refuse her daughter marrying the man (v.17)
    4. He still pays the fine even if the father refuse for them to marry.
  1. Application
    1. Parents:
      1. With daughters…
        1. Are you guys raising your daughters with the intention of preparing them for marriage?
        2. Fathers are you actively involved in being diligent with protecting your daughter’s purity?
        3. Do you talk about values, relationship, courtship and boys?
        4. Have you taught your daughter to introduce any boy interested in her to the parents as soon as possible?
      2. With sons…
        1. Are you guys raising your sons with the intention of preparing them for marriage?
        2. Do you talk about values, relationship, courtship and girls?
        3. Have you taught your son to talk to the parents of someone they want to pursue courtship with?
        4. Have you taught your son to respect the girl’s father by consulting him before the relationship?

Conclusion

I began this post with some humor.  But in conclusion I want to make my point that this is no laughing matter.

It would be a cute funny little song but there’s a darker turn in the original story of the song; according to Wikipedia and substantiated in an interview with Zach Sang that it was:

originally based on a real-life situation. The lead singer of Magic!, Nasri, had been in an unhealthy relationship with a previous girlfriend. One day after an argument erupted and she became harsh, Nasri began singing the lines “Why you gotta be so rude/ don’t you know I’m human too” in what he describes as a “dark vibe.” However, the concept did not work with the band well so it was revised and eventually changed so that Nasri was still dating her, and was asking her father if he could propose to her”[1]

If one watches the Youtube interview Nasri emphasize more than once that their music is authentically who they are and are real.  I can’t help but to wonder if there is any relationship between Nasri’s troubled relationship with his view of “old fashion fathers.”  If someone cannot respect authority that is always a dangerous sign; you don’t want to be under that person as it can get tyrannical and dark.  God’s way is still the best.

[1] Voddie Bauchman Jr., What He Must be…if He wants to Marry my Daughter (Wheaton: Crossway 2009), 56.

[1] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rude_(song); see also the video at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-6xgeadEtMQ

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