Last night our Bible Study was a Question and Answers session. One question that was asked was “How can I be convinced that anger and violence is not a good way to handle issues?”
(This is an expansion of a previous post on our blog)
Here’s my three part answer:
Answer part 1: Deal with your hurt Biblically
- If we are fighting anger when we get angry, it is very hard when we are angry to fight anger; so the better strategy is to learn to deal with our hurt and pain.
- We need to know pain is the fuel for anger.
- When one is hurt, know right away this is going to be channel into anger so you want to deal with it biblically right away.
- Know that in this life people will hurt you.
- Also don’t think the more powerful, popular, influential or more capable or more spiritual you are that people will not hurt you less; they will hurt you even more since there will be more criticism.
- Read a good biography of someone famous; see that criticisms don’t go away! See its how you handle criticism matters!
- Pray to God about your hurt; let Christ, God and the Gospel comfort you.
- Also if there’s things that are legitimate in the criticism or offense done to you because of a wrong on your part, go to God in prayer and the Word for change.
- Focusing on changing also mean your mentality of people hurting you and offending you is very different than if you live your life only trying not to get hurt.
Answer part 2: Meditate on verses that put anger in perspective
I think having the right perspective and understanding anger in its proper perspective is half the battle.
- Proverbs 29:11: A fool always loses his temper, But a wise man holds it back.
- Question to meditate upon: Do you see that it is foolish to lose your temper? Do you see that it is wise to hold back your temper?
- Proverbs 16:32: He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, And he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city.
- Question to meditate upon: Do you believe being slow to anger is strength? Do you realize strength is most powerful with self-control than winning externally?
- Proverbs 14:29: He who is slow to anger has great understanding, But he who is quick-tempered exalts folly.
- Question to meditate upon: Do you realize that being slow to anger shows you have great understanding? Do you avoid exalting in folly? If so, do you avoid being quick tempered?
Answer part 3: Meditate on verses that focus on right responses
- Proverbs 19:11: A man’s discretion makes him slow to anger, And it is his glory to overlook a transgression.
- Question to meditate upon: When you think about a situation are you thinking about it with the goal of trying to slow down, reduce and avoid being angry? Do you believe it is glorious to overlook a transgression?
- Proverbs 15:1: A gentle answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger.
- Question to meditate upon: Have you vowed to see the importance of answer gently when someone is angry? Have you disavowed using harsh words when someone is angry? Do you believe that harsh words is to throw gasoline into the fire of someone’s anger?
- Proverbs 15:18: A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, But the slow to anger calms a dispute.
- Question to meditate upon: Are you avoiding to further stir up a strife during a conflict? Do you aim to calm down a dispute? If so you would be slow to anger.
The Domain for Truth 
This is an excellent post on an often ignored issue. Thank you for this! God bless you today brother.
Likewise may the Lord bless you! How are you doing health wise?
Thank you for asking Jim, generally I am seeing slow progress in my leg condition. I feel quite a bit better overall, but the recovery is going to take a long time. God is good within this, I feel that it is a work of grace.
Wise and godly counsel! I am once again saving your post and will read this often! I am quick to anger, quick to speak and VERY slow to listen. You asked about my Lord’s Day and I said it was “rough.” I will be honest, it was a Lord’s Day where no one spoke kindly to each other. It was a day of family division rather than unity. I am not glad for what transpired; however, I am VERY thankful that God is teaching Nathan, Mom and I lessons individually and bringing us closer to Him and each other. I praise God for you, Nancy and your kiddos!
Wow sounds like a lot happen on Sunday. I’m sorry to hear things transpired. Before Christ I was an angry guy. My siblings and parents said the military raised my anger level which I didn’t notice until they pointed that out. How we need His grace. Seems God often teach us many things right after our anger. Hope you are doing better since Sunday?
Hey, Jim! I understand anger and military. Things are much better! I normally don’t share things like this; however, I wanted you to know how timely and applicable this post was!
There is nothing like the Word of God. It deals with every area of our lives. Thank you for this post on anger. I have prayed to God angry prayers ( not at Him) and experienced a change of heart.
God’s Peace.
So grateful for God’s Word. Praying does changes things including changing our anger. I’ve experienced the same thing you said. Praying for God’s peace for you this week. I’m praying more earlier than Friday for your evangelism this week so I don’t only pray after you guys are done due to time zone differences lol.
Thank you Pastor Jim. !
We are encouraged by your prayers !
Thanks for this good post! I do not like criticism and do not react well to it. You’ve provided some good practical counsel for anticipating and reacting to criticism with the Lord in mind. I’ve applied some suggestions you’ve made previously about anticipating criticism and they were helpful. I’m still working on this. On the flipside are believers who have an overly critical spirit and wonder why other people react angrily.
Thank you for reading this. There’s two things I do read regularly from my own teaching, as strange as that might sound. It’s the verses on anger from Proverbs that I linked here and also the outlines on handling criticisms. I read it because I need it a lot and to not be a hypocrite having taught on this topic many times in many venues. You are right about how some believers on the other hand can be overly critical. I feel it’s easier to minister and correct thoughts of those who have a have a negative reaction to criticisms than to those who dish out there criticisms; ironically the ones that are most critical are the ones that have the hardest time with criticism! That’s my limited personal experience anyways. My day is going to be a long range pastoral visitation day today; how does your day look?
Thanks for the personal insights. Yes, sometimes the shortcomings we see in others are what we have the most trouble with.
Lord bless your visitation. I did some job search and my wife and I had a little outing at the nearby Erie Canal. Good for our souls. I think the lockdown and other issues had me withdrawing into my shell too much. Gonna start painting 1/4 of the house soon and will start some of the prep work this afternoon.
Thank you for these advices, Jim, especially consulting the words in the scriptures. These are good advices as we strive not to end up like Bruce Banner’s alter ego (see post banner pic) who gets stronger [and destructive] the angier he is; leaving his famous line, “don’t make me angry….”
Good comment lol. Yeah we should not strive to become the “Hulk.” I just thought of a rhyme as a result of your comment: “Beware of how you sulk, lest you become the Hulk…”. I find it very helpful to fight ungodly anger by taking my hurt to the Lord instead of just sulking. Or if I don’t become angry I can become depressed. Grateful we can pray to God and give Him our Pain and burdens amen?
This is genius! I love the sulk Hulk rhyme!
and then there is righteous anger. Maybe that is lacking and why this world is in such a mess. I don’t ‘get’mad’ very often but will certainly remember your thoughts and Gods word.
Thanks brother. This really hit home: “A man’s discretion makes him slow to anger, And it is his glory to overlook a transgression.”
Am I willing to overlook a transgression?
“We need to know pain is the fuel for anger.” I had never thought of that, but it’s true. I have thought that anger is the fuel for action – the question is, what kind of action do we take with all this new-found energy?
(I used to clean the house when I was angry. It kept me out of trouble, and it got a job done that ordinarily I wouldn’t bother to do. 😉 )
That’s a very productive way of channeling your energy and anger! I wished more people channel their anger in a productive way sister! You don’t if I share what you do the next time I counsel people going through anger as an example of productive use of anger? As a pastor when I shepherd people in their anger with biblical counseling I find it very helpful to ask and also to think of what is the hurt that fuels the anger. It seems very fruitful and more compassionate way of ministering to an angry person. Sometimes its helpful to address the hurt first before saying the person has a wrongful angry response.
By all means, feel free to share anything you deem good from my writing. I would be honored.
I guess the MOST productive way to channel the energy of anger is to use it in working toward a solution – figure out WHY the person hurt you (What’s hurting HIM?) and work to create better circumstances for all. Example: my daughter is bored, frustrated, and depressed and in no mood to clean her room, but it REALLY needs it. I need to realize that she isn’t so much defying me as she is expressing that she’s unhappy/having a bad day. I can channel my angry energy by saying, “C’mon, I’ll help you clean your room,” make a game of it, play some energetic music (“Can we get all these things picked up before this song is over?”), and take her out for ice cream when the job is done.
Thank you for the reminder.
You’re welcome! I need to be reminded with all the crazy things on the news and also falsehood on social media. Pray for me to speak up with truth, facts, logic and…also love and patience!
In prayer.
Christ will stand thru us. Amen
This was very helpful, brother, thank you!
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